I read an article a good year ago, and I can't seem to find it. The article talked about how girls, when always told "You're smart," grow up to believe they can either do it, or not. Oftentimes, they are easily frustrated and give up, when a solution to a problem is not immediately clear.
I told Tony about it because I recognized that in myself. Since then I've attacked problems a different way: digging deeper, trying harder, and it's been amazing. We've decided, instead of telling Adina that she's smart, we'll tell her she's learning so much, or doing a good job. We want to praise her process of figuring out problems, not just her natural affinity to learn quickly.
The other day I was visiting with a mom-of-girls friend and she told Adina she's smart. I wonder if she tells that to her own kids. For the record, it's fine by me if other people tell her she's smart. I want to focus my energy on teaching her to learn and figure stuff out.
http://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/2013/04/24/giving-good-praise-to-girls-what-messages-stick/
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